After taking the
Virtue Quiz my results concluded with the following: You're on the right path.
Even though you made a few choices that didn't reflect Ben's plan for becoming
more virtuous, overall you scored pretty well. Although Franklin gave up on his
formal effort to be more virtuous, he devoted much of his life to
self-improvement. After re-reading Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues it occurred to me
where my shortcomings are and I feel that if I can begin to include these three
virtues more in my daily life I will begin living a more aligned life with a
stronger better character. The three virtues I have decided to focus on are
Silence, Frugality and Tranquility.
Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling
conversation.
First off after reading his definition for this virtue I was
not positive what this meant. Did he mean gossip? Did he mean secrets? What
exactly did he mean? Finally I realized it was all the above, it was anything
that could be perceived as selfish, incorrect, exaggerated etc. Reflecting on
my life I am a very loyal person in being loyal my ideas are that I will do
whatever I can to support my family member, friend, spouse, child or coworker
if I can. Realizing that every action has a reaction and thinking from a consequential
point of view I now see that although at the time my actions were meant to be
good sometimes I can cause a more deserving person pain. For example I have a
coworker who is up for a promotion and I want her to get it, instead of letting
her achieve this on her own I step in and start hearing helpful information and
then share with her so that she has the upper hand. Now this is very harmless
because the information was nothing to cause another person harm; however it
was information another person did not have upon being asked some questions.
This act of protecting and enabling one has now disabled another.
Although I would still be inclined to react this way again
in the future I am now seeing the penalties and consequences involved and I am not
as positive I would be as aggressive in the future for the fact I wouldn’t want
to be unethical. Another way to abide by this virtue would be to be quiet more
often. I already keep a lot of things to myself and consider myself a good
secret keeper; however I am not a good secret keeper to everyone as again if my
friend, family member, spouse, child or coworker was inclined to benefit from
the information I would most likely share it. If I can learn to stay silent I
feel I would face less trifling interactions when my indiscretions come back to
bite me. If I flip the scenario around I am not positive these same individuals
would be treating me this way and I am not sure if I am making the situation
worst by becoming too involved. Looking forward I am going to actively practice
being silent as the old saying, “ an empty barrel makes a lot of noise but a
still tongue keeps a wise head”.
Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e., Waste
nothing.
Being frugal involves avoiding waste of anything at all
costs. You do not waste food, money, time, energy and so on and being frugal is
not a bad quality, as many tend to perceive it is actually a desirable quality
many fail to achieve. I fail to achieve this, as I am a wasteful person. I waste
food, I waste time, I waste energy I waste many things for no apparent reason
other than I am lazy. I am not lazy in the essence I don’t do anything with my
life or time I am lazy because when it comes down to it if I am tired I relax,
if I am hungry I eat until I am full and then throw away the extras when I
should have rationed out the correct amounts. If I am sad or stressed I buy
things to fill the gaps instead of being smarter with my money. I am 100%
positive this is the virtue I need to focus on the most as I am too concerned
with suffering the consequences at another time instead of taking the time to
make better informed decisions about many important issues in my life.
Frugality in my opinion keeps people down to earth on life and keeps people
disciplined. Throughout my life I have made great decisions and horrible ones
and majority of my bad ones comes from being in-patient. I believe patience
involved becoming more disciplined and in order to do this I have to improve
one decision at a time.
For example I needed a new fridge recently as mine was no
longer dependable. I was losing entire fridge full of groceries at least once
every 4 months and this was costing a lot of money that we do not have. This
past weekend we finally made the decision to purchase a new fridge; however
after many long days leading up to this day we had no luck finding an
affordable fridge in the correct color. We bought this house 4 years ago fully
equip with appliances, but now we can see they are the bottoms of the barrel
quality. We went to HH Gregg and found a package deal for a fridge, dishwasher,
microwave and oven and realizing that most of our appliances had begun to fail
we decided it was a good idea to buy the package; however we did not consider
how we would pay for all of these appliances so we applied for an interest free
credit card. This was discouraging because we just spent two long years getting
out of credit card debt and now we are $3000 deep in debt and unable to pay
this card off anytime soon. Reflecting on my purchase now that it’s been
several days I regret the decision to open a card and wish I had been more
frugal and patient. If I had the ability to discipline myself and saved money I
would have eventually been able to purchase the much-needed fridge with cash
avoiding the unnecessary stress of additional credit card debt.
Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
On top of my inability to stay quiet at all times and
practice a frugal lifestyle I am not at all tranquil. Currently I have so much
stress I am going through that I am having anxiety attacks and heart pains and
I am having to go to multiple doctor appointments to resolve this issue. My
life is not easy and many of the situations I am going through are unavoidable.
Shortly after giving birth I suffered postpartum depression and developed an
adjustment disorder. I feared leaving my child and I cried daily because
everyday I dreaded having to leave her for work. At my work the environment is
difficult because we work very closely in cubicles. I work with many different
personalities and I don’t typically feel all of them are ethical at all times.
I have come to the conclusion that they may need to practice the art of silence
as well. I am no perfect person so I try to focus on the good and set the
example of a team mentality in the hopes these coworkers will eventually mimic
it. I also work a full time job while being a full time wife and mom, which is
another important factor when considering the anxiety I have. Since my child
was born we have had many issues with ear infections, fevers and now a diaper
rash that is not going away. My daughter whom is 18 months has yet to sleep
through the night, and I am struggling at work every day. Since she is sick often
I have missed an abundance of days since my husband is unable to leave work.
My husband is the breadwinner of our household and a very
good father. He works over an hour away and has to be on the golf course every
morning by 5 am. This requires him to wake up at 3:30am, which is a grueling
schedule. He does not return home until after I do around 6pm to 7pm. This
schedule puts all the burdens of picking up, dropping off, leaving early and
doctor visits on me. My husband and I are both students trying our best to
better our situation and in time our dedication will pay off. In the mean time;
however I am losing it on a daily basis. I
If I can bring tranquility into my life I feel as though I
will be a different person. The tension I have and the shortness in my temper
would be lessened and I would be more centered. In order to add tranquility I
have taken a suggestion of meditating whenever I have the chance so that I can
relax and let go of these stressors. I am also trying to add some kind of
enjoyment to my life since all I do is take care of my baby, work, sleep, and
do homework. I have yet to laugh in months so I am going to start making more
time for things I want to do such as running. Tranquility is about becoming at
peace with oneself and calm, and this is something I hope to experience in the
coming weeks.
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