We all have protective values that influence our decision-making;
I feel the most protected values are displayed in what most people would
consider a “natural reaction”. I
know personally the decisions I make that affect my daughter Olivia, come with
virtually no thought or consideration for alternatives they are strictly a
reaction to the situation. But as I step back and think about reactions I have
had they are based off of my protective values which revolve around spending as
much time as possible with her because I know that if I am the one with her
then I feel secure because I will do everything possible to keep her from harms
way. After reviewing the characteristics of protective values I thought of
different situations that I have been faced with where my decisions were
directly related to my protected values towards my daughter.
Even when it comes to spending alone time with my husband on
a date night I have found myself making a decision that was independent of the
consequences. I have always been a big fan of basketball and attending the
Orlando Magic games, and since I was pregnant I hadn’t been to a game. Back in
November at the beginning of basketball season my husband was offered tickets
to the Magic versus the Knicks for free and the tickets were 5 rows off the
floor. Typically in a situation like this I would have cancelled all other
plans to go, the problem I had though was it was a Friday, I had worked all day
long and Olivia hadn’t seen me and the game started at 8 which is when we put her
in the tub then get her to bed. I quickly declined the tickets even knowing
Olivia was now 10 months old, I hadn’t been on a date since we had her and that
the tickets would be given to someone else if my husband had not accepted them.
My rationale to him was that I had to much homework and the timing wasn’t good,
but turned out that I didn’t do any homework that night instead we went for a
walk and played with Olivia until it was bed time.
I can also associate this situation to the characteristic
that protected values are insensitive to quantity. Even being that the game was
on a Friday night and I had all weekend to spend with Olivia, I still couldn’t
sacrifice the few hours that evening to spend with her to go do something that
I had loved doing for year’s prior. The reaction was just natural, if I
sacrificed my time then I would not be able to get the time back and worst of
all I would have to think the entire time whether or not whoever was watching
her was giving her the same attention I would to ensure she wasn’t going to get
hurt.
The final characteristic that solidifies my protected value
is the fact that my decisions are applied to acts. I do recognize that Olivia at
the time was 10 months old and she would not remember me leaving her on a
Friday night to spend time with her dad, and the chance of her getting hurt
while being watched by a grandparent was minimal. However, “natural reaction”
of declining the tickets show that even the relevancy of the situation did not
matter, I was not going because my most protected value is not sacrificing any
time with Olivia and ensuring her safety by being with her at every given
opportunity.
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