My level of self-awareness has changed in many ways since I began my MSLD program in all aspect of my emotional intelligence, attitude toward change, cognitive style, values and core self-evaluation. When I started this program I thought I had a pretty good idea of myself however as I continue through this program I am constantly finding new ways in which I need improvement.
My emotional intelligence is pretty good according to the assessment survey I participated in and I find this to be accurate. I have always had the ability to be in touch with my emotions; however it wasn’t until I began my quest to become a leader that I became aware of how important this skill is in effectively leading. In order to be a good leader you have to be able to get in touch with your followers in a deeper more meaningful way. You will not successfully lead if others cannot relate or connect with you. It is important to be aware of not only your emotions but that of those around you. If you are not able to be open and empathetic people will think you are cold in my opinion. That is why I have begun to become more aware of dealing with my emotions. Having control over them will help me become a better leader.
Attitude toward change is something I struggle with everyday as the world around me is changing every day. I know to be able to be successful I must be open to the changes happening around me. I have always struggled with change as I tend to prefer a more predictable routine from day-to-day; however I have noticed that when change occurs so does learning and I love to learn. My results from the survey indicated that I have a pretty good adaptation of this change. I have an internal locus of control and my tolerance is pretty average. In the beginning of this course much like emotional intelligence I was aware of my acceptance of change and had a pretty good understanding of the importance of accepting change; however it was until I began my career as a Financial Aid Advisor and the MSLD program that the true importance of this adaptation became clear. After reviewing scholarly articles in my previous class I have learned that in order to stay on top you must be on the cutting edge of technology. This requires research as well as critical thinking.
Cognitively I could use some improvements in all the areas and this will take work. Before this program I had no idea what my cognitive abilities were. I learned that there are styles called knowing, planning and creating. I scored the lowest in creating which came to a shock because I have never viewed myself as someone to prefer data, facts and details. After reading more about this area I learned more about myself and the importance of being more aware of these attributes. As a psychology major and free thinker scoring the lowest in creating made me second guess my decisions throughout life thus far. I learned that I tend to challenge things unless sufficient evidence is provided to me, and I also take my time in making decisions because I want proof. These are all good qualities, but they put me in a different category than I expected. I see now why having the ability to do all of these will be necessary in order to lead effectively. I think a leader will need to be well-rounded in order to identify with all personalities he or she may be confronted with.
Values were always important to me but it was not until this class that I realized all the different aspect a value truly has. There are some values that are based off of how someone is raised, their maturity level, their culture etc. No matter what someone’s values are in order to be effective one must be able to not only identify their own values, but of others as well. This will help develop more respect and better understanding of why someone might feel one way or the other. This program has demonstrated very well that I will encounter people of all walks of life and I will need to be able to get along with everyone to a certain professional degree. I have also learned that my current maturity level in more of a conformist and in order to become fully matured I will need to experience more to develop internal principles to base my decisions off of.
Finally this program has not only taught me the importance of having a positive core self-evaluation but that I need to improve my core self-evaluation if I want to succeed as a leader. I currently need to work on my self-esteem which I have struggled with for the past 13 years. I was in a mentally abusive relationship for 10 years as I started dating the guy when I was only 14 years old. I was very young and naïve and allowed him to tell me how to live my life based off of his expectations. He delegated of who I should be based on his opinions. He degraded me and prevented me from being able to comfortable being myself. I finally was able to break away from the violent relationship however the damage had been done. I now have a difficult time believing in myself and find it hard to find a lot of positives in myself, and when I do I have a hard time being confident. This program has provided me with an understanding that in order to lead affectively I must not only be confident and believe in myself, but I must also be able to instill this in others. In my opinion you must practice what you preach to others in order to be successful in conveying your message. This is why I have to improve my overall self-evaluation not only for myself, but for my future follower’s well-being.
So far I am only 3 classes into this program and I have already seen the true importance of having a good level of emotional intelligence, attitude toward change, cognitive style, values and core self-evaluation. In order to improve each of these characteristics I will need to practice and change my outlook on some things. In the end to be successful leader I must possess each of these qualities.
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