A633.1.2.RB_McNerneyLeighAnn

My opinion regarding the leadership gap is that most of our current leaders have become accustom to operating and responding in a complicated context. They tend to want to micromanage and remain in control over situations instead of building trusting relationships with their coworkers. Not being able to rely on your employees to get their job done causes a lack in creativity and productivity. A lot of the leaders in place currently appear to me as intelligent individuals; however a lot of them are so wrapped up and over confident in their own ideas that they fail to recognize other ways of doing things. I feel they become entrained in their thinking and they lose sight of the big picture which in return causes the picture to become more of a haze for all of their followers. Leaders need to understand that they are a leader as well as a follower and in understanding this and accepting this will allow them to remain in the lead because people will respond and mimic their behaviors.

I also feel there is a gap in leadership because we are currently undergoing a movement into a new way of leadership. We are moving into an era where woman are starting to be seen as valuable assets not just as superiors to men. In the 28 years I have been alive I have witnessed this slow movement. In television alone, shows used to portray a family where the man was working supporting the family and the woman was a stay at home mom. Nowadays you can find shows where the dad is now a stay at home dad supporting the woman who is now the sole provider. Just at my current university they are always trying to recruit more woman students because statistics show their graduation rates are high. I feel a lot of people leading today were brought up in ideas of the past. With the roles changing and shifting this has allowed many of the valuable characteristics and traits woman typically possess to be transferred into the work environment, and people like it.

People like being treated with respect and dignity. Trusting relationships have formed because instead of being challenged when someone has a new creative idea they are now instead receiving support and empowerment to make their ideas become reality. Although not all woman and men operate in specific ways most of the effective leaders possess a lot of the feminine qualities. Being soft, open, co-operative and understanding develops into trusting relationships, and from this trust comes loyalty and due diligence. Employees who feel as equals among a team motivates and empowers them to push the envelope and it appears you can be a lot more successful as a team, then independently working. Working in a team brings out not only everyone’s talents but a variety of ideas which increases creativity and innovation for the organization.

 Although these famine characteristics are extremely beneficial for a leader there is a lot of male qualities that are required. Masculine behaviors are prone to be better at task centered objectives and they can get the job done emotionless. They also include staying rational, being hard working and competitive. They can step into a chaotic situation and regain control and do it strategically. These traits are great for leading but those alone are a thing of the past. The mentality of leading effectively is shifting now that we have had a taste of some of the great qualities woman can bring to the equation. That is why in my opinion we need a balance of both.

All successful marriages are successful because the spouses work as a team toward one common goal being successful and happy. Why not keep this same mentality in the work place? Why not use the good qualities a woman can bring and rely on the great qualities men can bring and unite them. Becoming a successful leader in today’s world involves being able to accept and adapt to change every day. It’s about staying in the grey not just operating from a black and white perspective. In order to stay in the grey we need to stay on our toes we need to form teams and use each team member’s valuable assets to become successful as one unit. I feel if the younger generation starts implementing these ideals then our leaders of tomorrow will be more flexible and successful than ever before.

Obolensky, N. (2010). Complex adaptive leadership. (1st edition.). London, UK: Gower/Ashgate

A632.9.3.RB_McNerneyLeighAnn

Reflecting over my life and the decisions I have made thus far I do not feel any of the decisions lacked emotion. I am an emotional person and it is very difficult for me to act on anything without having a feeling towards the decision which sometimes makes it difficult for me to remain unbiased. I tend to evoke emotion and passion in almost everything I do whether I am making a life altering decision or choosing my outfit for the day, every decision depends on how I feel in that moment. I have often struggled with understanding if my emotions will lead me to success or failures since I usually cannot determine until after the fact of the matter and this is where it is good for me to also use logic and facts. In my life two different situations in which I had to make that involved an emotional impact were one where I was confident and my emotions were fully charged in my decision to take the job as a Financial Aid Counselor at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University Worldwide, and the other in which I was not confident which was deciding to enroll in the graduate program the Science of Leadership.

In September of 2010 I was working for a CCR Total Turf Company and I was beyond done with my current position as an office manager. I began working there shortly after graduating from college in 2008 as an administrative assistant. My Dad was a current partner at that time and needed someone to step in to help as their office had undergone some drastic changes and they were shorthanded. I needed a job and they needed an employer so it was a perfect opportunity to gain some real professional experience. After starting the office they continued to face multiple challenges as their newly appointed office manager began embezzling their money so they again appointed a new manager. I continued operating as the administrative assistant until the day came where the current office manager decided she no longer wanted to work for the company. With no other options I was now appointed the office manager. I assumed my previous responsibilities as well as absorbed all of hers. I quickly learned why this position was not as appealing as I once thought it could be.

The company was facing many challenges with the falling economy. People began cancelling jobs and maintaining a contract wasn’t as easy as it used to be. People wanted bargains and they wanted more for their money than they were once satisfied with. After the loss of pretty substantial contracts conflict within began to reach an all time high and one day there was an explosion of emotions, and my Dad was the odd man out after all he was partnering with two brothers. Once my dad was out I was alone unable to quit due to my own responsibilities of maintaining a house, car payment, insurances etc.  I began searching for a position I actually was interested in and not one that was handed to me.

I found out ERAU was looking for a financial aid counselor and I knew right then I was the right candidate. I applied in September, but didn’t hear anything. I started to feel hopeless until the position was again posted in October. I was beyond thrilled I knew this time I was getting a call, and shortly after applying I did! As I prepared for my first interview I was feeling emotionally charged with excitement confidence and motivation. I knew that this was the job I wanted and I was going to do everything I could to obtain it. My first interview went good and I was called back for a second one. The second interview involved the Director of Financial Aid and this didn’t intimidate me as I thought it would because I knew in my gut I was the right candidate and all I had to do was let him see my willingness to learn. After I left that day I felt like I nailed it and I guess I did because that December they called to offer me the position! Never before did I feel such a sense of relief. My last two weeks at CCR were different then all the previous ones because everything seemed brighter. Smells smelled better and I felt like my life was about to begin, finally.  I knew that day nothing was going to be the same and things were going to get better and they have! I love my job. I love my coworkers even on bad days. I love ERAU and all the amazing benefits they have to offer their staff. I love my degree I am currently pursuing and I love the way I am treated by my professors, and I love that I made that decision to take the position here at ERAU.

In October of 2011 I was nine months into my position as the Eastern Region Financial Aid Counselor. I had undergone nine straight months of financial aid training and I was finally coming into my own as the counselor. I was handling most my student’s issues with ease and becoming more confident in my new responsibilities. I have always enjoyed going to school and upon graduating from the University of Central Florida I decided I would eventually like to go back and get my Master degree. So when I started ERAU I began looking at the different degree programs they had to offer. Being a psychology major it felt like nothing seemed to be of interest and I began to look at other colleges because I wanted to continue my education no matter the costs. As I began reviewing programs offered at another local private college I caught word of a new degree program call the Science of Leadership and my ears perked up. I immediately ran down to a coworker’s office to inquire more about this new program coming our way. After learning more about it I knew I wanted to enroll once classes became available so I applied and was accepted in ERAU.

 In a time where I thought I should be excited and confident in my future ventures I became overwhelmed with fear, self-doubt and anxiety. I started second guessing everything that had led me to that point. I felt like I was not going to be able to handle the course load. I didn’t think I was smart enough because the gap between my undergraduate degree and the start of this one was four long years, and I couldn’t remember how to even get in a routine of homework let alone taking the classes online. I knew in the past I lack discipline and going into this program I knew I couldn’t allow myself to procrastinate with nine week courses. I was no longer a teenager living at home slacking off and it was not going to be as easy to get things done now that I was working full time, married and about to have my first child. The reality of the situation as well as the seriousness made me question my character and who I was.

After talking about my worries with my husband I quickly assessed these emotional dilemmas and realized my past experiences had led me to where I was. I knew that I was not going to behave the same way I did in the past simply because I recognized where I needed to improve and I knew I had since matured with my experiences. I am now about to complete my sixth graduate class and over the past year and a half I have maintained a 4.0 GPA, birthed my first child, played an active role as a financial aid counselor and grown as an individual. Enrolling in the program was the best decision I could have made and without the emotional fears I might have made the same decision. These fears allowed me to reflect on who I was and what I wanted in life.

A632.8.3.RB_McNerneyLeighAnn

As stated in the Harvard Business Review, “Effective leaders learn to shift decision-making styles to match changing business environments.” By identifying the approach that matches the environment, leaders are able to make decisions that do not only address the situation at hand, but allows others involved to make meaningful decisions that support the business environment, too. A lot of the time these decision making styles take a situation into another type of situation where a more successful decision can be made.

 On page 7 of the HBR, it tells us that in order to make a decision in a chaotic situation we must re-gain command and turn take the environment from chaotic to complex and then if possible from complex into a simple situation. I can relate this to a situation I was in just recently where I came into a chaotic environment and had to turn it into a complex environment in order to make the correct decisions. You may or may not know that January is the toughest month for Financial Aid because of all of the new terms and tracks that start the New Year for the financial aid awards. This so happened to be the month where my daughter has been sick the most since she has been born. To make a long story short I had no choice, but to take time from work to care for my child as any mothers would do. This quickly created a mess with my financial aid region because I was unable to communicate and adhere to the requests of students and faculty alike. All other counselors were also feeling the pressure at this time, so they had little time to allocate to my region so things quickly got behind. I returned to work a week after the term began and was overwhelmed with work, my emails were endless, and my answering machine had over 50 messages from students and faculty about the funds that were suppose to hit their accounts. Needless to say this environment was very chaotic, and I could not satisfy all of the needs for those within my region. I made the decision to listen to voicemails and scan through emails to determine the most critical needs versus the issues that were just purely for one’s piece of mind (although very important issues, not being affected by timeliness). This process took nearly a day, but by doing so I knew what issues took priority over all others and could easily identify these cases. By this point other counselors had additional time to help me, so with the organization of these issues I was able to successfully delegate to them and satisfy the students and faculties needs in a timely manner.

   Another part of my job that would be identified as a complicated environment is the verification process. Reviewing a student’s FASFA involves required procedures that we as counselors, must follow to check eligibility, identify an awards package, and then process a student’s account. There is a lot of room for error in this process by both the student who completes the FASFA and the counselor that reviews it and lines out an award package for the student. The FASFA contains very sensitive material about the students and also their family as well, so it is important that we do a detailed job inputting the information and more importantly handling these sensitive documents. Each time we submit the FASFA to the Department of Education, a few things can happen that are out of our control, first a student can be randomly selected to submit additional information that validate the information submitted on the FASFA, or second, they may have parts of the FASFA that are not consistent with other area and it raises a ‘red flag’. This is what is known as the Verification Process; at this point the FASFA becomes much more extensive and time consuming on the students behalf, which leads to frustration and conflict. It is important for us counselors to do a very detailed job reviewing the students account and communicating with them to help identify the areas that are lacking or inconsistent to try and prevent any red flags that would cause the student to be selected for verification. When a student is selected for the verification process it is completely out of our hands, so we do our jobs knowing that this selection by the Department of Education is unknown and we do everything possible to help the student get through the process.

The Cynefin Framework is a methodology that helps us identify the situation we are in and the best approach to making decisions within that situation. Identifying that if a situation is ‘known’ we do not need to add much thought other than our standard operating procedure should create a positive outcome. If we find ourselves in a ‘knowable’ situation than simply thinking of scenarios and evaluating the possible outcomes is a suitable approach to making your decision. However, when we find ourselves in a ‘complex’ situation, identifying patterns and asking questions of others is going to be a normal reaction when trying to come to a decision. And when faced with a ‘chaotic’ situation it is important to stay calm and find a way to bring the situation at least into a complex state where evaluation can occur and the steps to making an effective decision are possible.

Snowden, D.J., and Boone, M.E. (2007). A leaders framework for decision making. Havard Business Review. Retrieved from http://www.mpiweb.org/CMS/uploadedFiles/Article%20for%20Marketing%20-%20Mary%20Boone.pdf

A632.7.4.RB_McNerneyLeighAnn

I am the Eastern Region Financial Aid Counselor at Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University Worldwide and my region has growing rapidly. I already had the largest campus region and now it’s almost the same size as the Online Region, which is becoming too big to handle for just one person. Luckily, I have a great support system and a group of coworkers with a team mentality. My team has been jumping in during the more chaotic time frames such as the beginning if the new academic year in order to give our student population good customer service; however with the regions recent rapid growth we have finally been approved for a new position in order to split my region in half.

The Financial Aid hiring process involves all of the key stakeholders also known as the counselors, Verification and Loan Manager, Scholarship and State Grant Manager, Manager of Financial Aid and of course the Director. We all have a say so on what we are each looking for from the future prospect and all of our input is taken into consideration once the final decision is made. When the Director brought it to my attention that I would be overseeing the entire process since I would be working with this individual the most, I was excited.

First off we posted the position online through Human Resources. Thus far we have already brought in at least 150 resumes in which I have already begun reviewing. Before I began reviewing the applicants resumes I with each of my coworkers looking for some ideas of what they felt an applicant should bring to our department. After talking with each of them I began reviewing each resume one by one. Looking over the resumes I was looking for someone who is coachable, as the ERAU financial aid system differs from all traditional universities and will require a lot of training. I was also looking for people who were listed characteristics involving working as a team since we are a very close nit team and it’s important to everyone that the transition will be smooth.

After choosing resumes I began going over them with the director and manager of financial aid. I explained why I chose the ones I did and we elected 6 out of the pile to call and set up one on one interviews. We have not yet begun the interviewing process; however having gone through it myself I know how they will take place. The interview will consist of me, the manager, the director and the applicant. We will each have a series of questions to ask the applicant and we will take turns doing so. We try to conduct the interview so that the questions will flow from one to the next in order to make the applicant as comfortable as possible. We do not want to intimidate them, but instead enable them to be themselves because ultimately that’s who we are really trying to get to know. During the interview we will write notes and then after each interview we will meet together to discuss what we liked and disliked about each candidate.

Once we have the position narrowed down to two applicants we will bring a couple different coworkers in order to get their feel about each candidate as we are a team we need to get the teams perspective. After the second rounds of interviews are over we will all meet as a department and discuss the future prospects getting everyone’s take.

Each counselor provides the department with specific qualities that help us stay successful. For example the Verification and Loan Manager is extremely knowledgeable in the different processes and procedures of the verification process. She will provide the majority of the verification training for the new hire. She is also a social butterfly and easy going. She has the ability to make anyone feel as if they are a part of her own family. The Scholarship and State Grant Manager is very knowledgeable in every state grant and is also in charge of all of the Worldwide scholarships. As a coworker, she is great at helping you articulate your words, meaning she can explain a process via email very well since she can see the logic in all situations and break it down in a straightforward clear concise way. The Online Counselor is very organized, the Central Region Counselor is extremely good at understand how the Pell Grant system works and the Western Region Counselor is really good at the political and business end of the department. He has the ability to see situation in a way others are not able to. Each of the stake holders are good at what they do, but they also bring other qualities that each of us may lack. This is why it is so important that we work as a team throughout this process of finding an additional counselor.

Going forward with our search for the new counselor, I am going to look at this situation through the lenses of each of my coworkers and I hope that I am able to find a candidate that will suite everyone’s needs. The conflict of this situation is having a region too large to handle alone. My attitude of resolution is being optimistic that we will find a suitable candidate that will provide our department with support and it will be a smooth transition process. Stories involve speaking with each of my coworkers listening to all of their concerns and hopes of the future new hire. Listening for a vision of the resolution will be after meeting with my coworkers and begin the interviewing process. I will be a neutral third party trying to find a candidate that will fit everyone’s needs, but I will also be an interviewer looking for someone I can work with since it’s my region I will be sharing. Getting current and complete will come after each interview when we meet discussing what we liked and disliked about each candidate. Once we have the position narrowed down to the two candidates we will conduct one more interview and then we will be able to determine at that point is we are reaching an agreement in the overall principle. Finally we will have our final resolution and a new Eastern Region Financial Aid Counselor. Choosing this candidate will be a relief for everyone in our department because it will be one more person to add to our support system!

A632.6.3.RB_McNerneyLeighAnn

When I graduated from the University of Central Florida in 2007 I was full of dreams and aspirations of where my future would take me. It wasn’t until I tried finding a job with a Bachelors in Psychology did I realize I didn’t exactly have a whole lot of options. Every job description within the Psychology field required a Master or at least 3 years of experience in the area of expertise. I always anticipated getting my Masters; however the requirement to get into graduate school was to score at least a 450 or above on the Graduate Record Examinations Test (GRE) and that scared me into taking time off from school. I was never a good test taker so I failed myself without even trying. Looking back I realize I fell into this degree program on accident. I enrolled in my required core classes when I was a freshman; however taking my first Psychology class caught my attention like no other classes ever had. I actually “fit in” with my Professors and I was no longer considered weird, but more of unique in my ways of understanding things. Helping people is my passion.

Facing the dilemma of being unemployed my Dad offered me a position as the secretary at his company he was part owner of, and I reluctantly said “Yes!” Working as a secretary bored me to tears. I knew I was capable of more than the job required, but I was just grateful I had a job. Conveniently I worked with my Dad and his two partners were brothers that we had known all of my life. In fact one of the partner’s daughters is still my good friend. Deland is a very quant small town where everyone knows everyone’s business so working at the company was never dull. I began to fit in and really liked my job, especially the benefits of being able to take time off whenever I wanted. I got engaged about a year after working there so I was in the midst of planning my wedding which was very convenient as my Dad was just down the hall, so we were able to accomplish a lot together. The wedding came and we went on a 10 day honeymoon to Ireland and Paris. It was an amazing trip full of memories to last a life time. Upon my return I was ready to get back into the swing of things, but the day I returned was a day I will never forget.

That day, my dad and his partners were very tense and they abruptly called a meeting that morning to go over some things. I didn’t understand what was going on so I tried to stay quiet and get started on my daily routines. Around 10am I heard shouting and I was very nervous because I couldn’t understand what could be happening to cause them to yell at one another because that had never happened before. Next I heard my dad calling my name over and over so I ran into his office where they were, and that’s when he told me he was out and no longer going to be working with the company. I was dumbfounded. Before I could completely comprehend what was going on he was boxing his desk up. I didn’t know that two partners could kick another partner out and treat him like he was an employee being told to leave. I could not believe what was going on. I felt like I was having a horrible dream or being fooled, but then my dad got up and walked out the door and never came back.

Fear told me to go back and do my work because I recently purchased a house and my husband and I depended on my income to pay our bills. I was shaking and my eyes kept watering up, but I refused to let them see. They came back in and acted as if I wasn’t even there, talking around me about what they were going to need to do next. Before the day was over the locks were changed and they asked me to come talk to them before I left for the day. They promised they would treat me the same and if I wanted, I still had a job. I had no choice at that time because I needed the job. From then on everyday was a rollercoaster of emotions. I was in constant fear of losing my job and I was now promoted to manager of the office doing three people’s jobs. I was working long days with the same measly secretary pay I started at. When I asked for a raise they simply reminded me of my position and told me I made good money considering my job responsibilities. The way they treated me and talked to me as if I was not educated infuriated me, as I was the only one working with a college degree! Eventually I was able to find a job that would fit me and that was here at ERAU.

This overall experience taught me a lot about myself and hindsight has provided me with the errors of my ways. The conflict that led to this was my inability to believe in myself and my capabilities. Had I had the confidence to take the GRE I would have avoided what unfolded, and scares me to this day. Stewart Levine’s 10 Principles of New Thinking make up the attitude of resolution which is the foundation step in the overall resolution process. It is important to internalize these principles in order to change your ways of thinking to become a better, healthier and happier individual who does not carry burdens of past experiences. Had I internalized these principles long long ago I might have avoided some of the unnecessary stresses such as my experience working with my dad and his partners.

Principle 1 is believes in abundance. Had I believe in my abundance of knowledge and possibilities I might have not waited to go to graduate school. Principle 2 is creating a partnership. :At the beginning, when you are excited about the new venture or relationship, our traditional way of doing things asks you to focus on all the things that can go wrong” ( Levine, 2009) and that is exactly what I did to myself! I imagined failing the test to the point I failed it without even taking it. I protected myself form the idea of failing I wasted resources such as my great study habits, as I just graduated from UCF with a great GPA. I know now I had the necessary skills to study for the test and I know I would have past it, if I had  at least tried. Principle 3 is being creative. I was not creative in my decision making, instead of trusting myself and researching for GRE study groups I shot the idea down completely. I needed to change my ways of thinking. I had a “difficulty accepting that life is filled with surprises, conflict, disappointment, unmet expectations and change (Levine, 2009).

Principle 4 is fostering sustainable collaboration, which encourages taking steps to resolve the conflict before it gets worst. I believe this means in my situation I should have sought advice from someone such as my professor on my fears of taking the GRE so that they could have empowered me to move forward and take it. Principle 5 is becoming open by being vulnerable, honest and authentic. In my situation I should have allowed myself to take the test and fail it, so I could then deal with it and worked to better myself. I instead protected myself. Principle 6 is forming long-term collaborations which means thinking in long-term versus the here and now. Allowing me to fail would have been OK, but I didn’t allow it to actually be OK. Principle 7 is relying on feelings and intuition, which mine were confused at the time. My emotions were all over the place and my intuition was telling me to just try and take the test, but I let my emotions get the best of me. Next time I will trust my intuition because logic alone is not a reliable factor when resolving conflicts when you factor in emotions. Principle 8 is disclosing information and feelings. When I faced the conflict of deciding to take the test I stopped talking and thinking about it because it was easier than dealing with it. However, had I disclosed my fears with a professor from my previous university I might have resolved my conflict.

Principle 9 is learning throughout the resolution process. My resolution is finally attending graduate school here at ERAU in a degree program I feel fits me entirely; The Science of Leadership. Deciding to enroll last October has provided me with bittersweet feelings of relief to finally be accomplishing my goal in obtaining a masters degree. Although I am not going to have a degree in Mental Health Counseling I have learned more about myself and what I truly want out of life within this degree program. The final principle is becoming responsible. This principle is all about taking charge of your life being held accountable. Enrolling in my first class at 6 months pregnant was not by any means an easy task as I delivered in the middle of my second class. I finished my class with a little help from my very supportive Leadership professors which in return empowered me to continue to push forward. I have to admit I am not sorry I waited to enroll in graduate school as everything happens for a reason. I do however regret lacking the belief in myself and my strengths of accomplishing anything I put my mind to. I have learned who I am and where I am going and now with these 10 principles I believe I will be able to resolve future situations that might have prohibited me from moving forward.

Levine, S. (2009 ). Getting to resolution: Turning conflict into resolution. (2nd edition). Williston, VT: Berrett-Koehler Publishers

A632.5.5.RB_McNerneyLeighAnn

We all have protective values that influence our decision-making; I feel the most protected values are displayed in what most people would consider a “natural reaction”.  I know personally the decisions I make that affect my daughter Olivia, come with virtually no thought or consideration for alternatives they are strictly a reaction to the situation. But as I step back and think about reactions I have had they are based off of my protective values which revolve around spending as much time as possible with her because I know that if I am the one with her then I feel secure because I will do everything possible to keep her from harms way. After reviewing the characteristics of protective values I thought of different situations that I have been faced with where my decisions were directly related to my protected values towards my daughter.

Even when it comes to spending alone time with my husband on a date night I have found myself making a decision that was independent of the consequences. I have always been a big fan of basketball and attending the Orlando Magic games, and since I was pregnant I hadn’t been to a game. Back in November at the beginning of basketball season my husband was offered tickets to the Magic versus the Knicks for free and the tickets were 5 rows off the floor. Typically in a situation like this I would have cancelled all other plans to go, the problem I had though was it was a Friday, I had worked all day long and Olivia hadn’t seen me and the game started at 8 which is when we put her in the tub then get her to bed. I quickly declined the tickets even knowing Olivia was now 10 months old, I hadn’t been on a date since we had her and that the tickets would be given to someone else if my husband had not accepted them. My rationale to him was that I had to much homework and the timing wasn’t good, but turned out that I didn’t do any homework that night instead we went for a walk and played with Olivia until it was bed time.

I can also associate this situation to the characteristic that protected values are insensitive to quantity. Even being that the game was on a Friday night and I had all weekend to spend with Olivia, I still couldn’t sacrifice the few hours that evening to spend with her to go do something that I had loved doing for year’s prior. The reaction was just natural, if I sacrificed my time then I would not be able to get the time back and worst of all I would have to think the entire time whether or not whoever was watching her was giving her the same attention I would to ensure she wasn’t going to get hurt.

The final characteristic that solidifies my protected value is the fact that my decisions are applied to acts. I do recognize that Olivia at the time was 10 months old and she would not remember me leaving her on a Friday night to spend time with her dad, and the chance of her getting hurt while being watched by a grandparent was minimal. However, “natural reaction” of declining the tickets show that even the relevancy of the situation did not matter, I was not going because my most protected value is not sacrificing any time with Olivia and ensuring her safety by being with her at every given opportunity.

A62.4.5.RB_McNerneyLeighAnn

Deception is tricky because it can be used in a number of ways. People can deceive intentionally by lying about a product’s reliability or simply only tell half the truth or omitting information when recommending something to a consumer. People can deceive by bluffing and they can deceive by misinterpreting information. People deceive for different reasons such as greed, to compete, for social reasons and for reasons unknown. If the deceiver will benefit from the deception then they will typically deceive in order to obtain their incentives. I feel a lot has to do with the mood of the deceiver and the same for whose being deceived. Typically when I am dealing with car salesmen I am already on guard because I know they are in a competition with other sales men and they will do anything they have to in order to get their incentive, which is money.  Going in I have a defense mentality and they can pick up on it through my responses and they tend to become pushier with me because I am being so aloof. However when I usually go shopping at the mall I tend to have a great experience because I am open and friendly with the sales associates and that behavior is reciprocated. I know they typically don’t receive any incentives for sales and they just want to help me. These experiences are usually pleasant and I almost always end up purchasing products, thus everyone is satisfied.

Recently I have been deceived by my cable company At&t Uverse. When we signed up to receive their service we were promised a number of things such as better customer service overall, better channels and better prices. The first 6 months after switching were fantastic. We recommended them to all of our neighbors, friends and family members. However after the 6 months ended we noticed our bill jumped by about $100. I was stunned and very confused. I actually thought they messed our bill up so I called to complain. Once I waited 30 minutes on hold after going through a prompt five different times I was finally connected with a lady that barely spoke English. She explained to me that we were sold a promotional package and she was sorry we were never made aware of that. If we wanted to cancel our service it was going to be an additional $200 dollars on top of our bill. I as immediately irate I could not believe a company as large as At&t was deceiving their customers like this in order to increase sales in a new area. It appeared that we were the first in the area to be able to connect with the company and they installed a line especially for us. After going back and forth between her and the manager I was finally offered a resolution of the same promotional package for the rest of the year and they discounted our bill.

Flash forward 6 months we are still with At&t however our contract is terminating this time. After calling around to the other companies it would be more beneficial for my family to remain with At&t but only if we continue to have this discounted rate. Knowing we were deceived by them we never developed a trusting relationship. We look at them as deceivers and actually have the same mentality calling this time around. I get on the phone with a representative and explain to them that I am now highly dissatisfied with my service and I am cancelling since my contract is ending. I told them I had already contact the local competitor and planned on switching that week. Although I was bluffing I noticed I was treated much differently. I negotiated with the lady and she presented us with a full year for the same price we were already paying on the current promotional rate except now she through in a couple movie channels as an incentive to stay. I was of course satisfied and signed the contract for another year but I knew I had lied to get what I wanted. The original communication between the company and I left me with a bad experience and taught me to get what I wanted I was going to have to become a deceiver. I was positively reinforced with the same price for my cable for the year plus I was rewarded extra movie channels I was originally receiving. They reinforced by bad behavior.

Going forward I will become a better investigator when negotiating. I will establish trust, shift the frame, ask direct questions, listen carefully, pay attention to nonverbal cues and keep records and get things in writing. In the very beginning of the negotiation I will look at my partner directly in the eye and make small talk about something personal like family or something I am familiar they are interested in. I will then shift the frame of my point of view and try to be open to theirs. Seeing things from others frame of minds will help me be more flexible and willing to develop a balanced agreement. In my doing this it will allow them to reciprocate this type of behavior. During the negotiation I will continue to look at them directly and I will also ask them direct questions. Asking direct questions allows engagement to occur and people usually feel more connected to the other. Once I have asked questions I will open my body language up to listen and I will be attentive in hearing what they have e to say. Paying attention to their use of vocabulary, verbal cues, non verbal cues and visual cues will allow me to perceive if they are trying to deceive me. Once we have come to a conclusion and an agreement has been reached I will be sure to document it in writing as this will guarantee that they cannot manipulate or change anything.

Hoch, S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2005). Wharton on making decisions. (1st edition.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.